6 ways online dating and job hunting are similar

After more than a decade of marriage and now almost two years since we separated, the dating scene is unlike anything I have never known. I also now have the need and the desire to find a new path for my career. Both utilize online apps and that is just the first step in the comparison of Job hunting and online dating.

1. Utilization of online apps- Every aspect of life seems to have an app for that. And dating and job searching are no different. I didn't and couldn't afford a pay site for dating so I went with a freebie, Plenty of Fish. The job hunt has more apps than I utilize but the ones I have tried are LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor, and ZipRecruiter. My preference right now is Glassdoor and Ziprecruiter, Glassdoor gives great insights into the company and what it is like to work there from reviews by current and former employees. Ziprecruiter has a great search engine and has some direct companies hiring, I have come across sites that are nothing but filter through another app. Well, why wouldn't I go to the source and skip the middle man.

2. Most profiles or jobs are bullshit- With online dating, my first rule was to avoid the profiles listed as Widows. I found most of them to not be widows but typically they were fake profiles. Any time the person was too hot, I would check the profile and sure enough, he was a widow. I have had the same experience on Facebook. I still get the weekly request from Military men who are widows. Their profiles only have one or two pics and when you look it up online to research the name, it is a fake account. Now in the job hunt, the postings are not typically fake but they are filled with non-sales, sales jobs. For instance, they will advertise the job as one thing, and to read the description it sounds kinda promising until you read the review and see that its commission based only or the money they were offering for the job is a projected average and nothing like the paycheck you will receive.

3. Wading through the Muck- Now I have not been as lucky in my job search as I have with the online dating. I had a few standards I set for what I wanted from a partner-- must drive, must have a job or career that he is passionate about, we must inspire and motivate each other and if he mentions sex in the first email or just comments on my looks, then I would send a thoughtfully crafted question. Most responded with pleasantries that were insincere. I looked for emails that were original in thought and more that one sentence. Using these tactics, helped clear the muck and made it easy to spot the emerald in the grass. I am still knee high in the job search muck. I would love your comments on how you have navigated this system. I read the job descriptions and now the company reviews as well to make it simpler to identify one a job I want two, a job I am qualified for and finally to see what kind of culture this company has and represents.

4. If you're not careful you will be fucked, figuratively and actually- Most emails I got on Plenty of Fish were asking for sex. Some were more sly and would talk to you for like a day and ask for sexts or actual sex. Also in my job search, I have gotten the most response from what I have begun to call pyramid jobs. You can make money by recruiting or selling something like an entry-level position for people looking to change their career path. Also, these jobs are listed as making $50k plus But when you read the company reviews and job feedback on sites like Glassdoor and ZipRecruiter you learn the opinion of current and former employees. Its too bad plenty of fish does not offer reviews of the profiles on their site. I wish I could have let other online daters about some of the real a-holes on their site.

5. There are gems, maybe just not in the way you expected -- I got hundreds of messages from randos that were looking for something I wasn't, including an offer to dress, bath, feed and change a man who had a baby fetish. And being approached by a few married couples looking for more "friends," but I did find my gem almost ten months ago.

6. Always respond even if it is to politely say no- I knew that most of the people emailing me were not the daters I wanted and recruiters are sometimes just looking for a warm body. I say that 90% (not scientifically proven) of the responses I get for both online dating and job searching is all bullshit. Online recruiting has moved from the real companies doing a direct hire and mostly the postings are from recruiting organizations. I know enough to know that is how these businesses make money is by selling their services as a third-party Human resources department or guaranteed to fill your positions, etc. But that does not help us job searchers in our process. I am not saying I don't apply to these third-party recruiters but I try to steer away from those.

In life, I am just trying to find my #hippiehappy. Whether it is with a mate or in a new line of work. I hope to do a follow up to this piece when I figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

What am I worth? (Synchronicity preview)

Many places in my life in the last few weeks someone has put some kind of value or asked me to put a number value on me as a person. It shook me to the core every time it happened. I am not something to be put into a numeric value. Maybe it scares me to think of myself as a cash cow. Put to slaughter for a price. One was for life insurance and disability insurance our yearly meeting with the same smiling face. She loves me I add more every year paranoid that someone will get hurt or goddess forbid die. I with having Epilepsy I constantly worry about my long term health. It's under control now, but I was told as a child I would outgrow it too. So here was the first place someone asked me to pick my big worth.

As I am applying for jobs or more like browsing the job market. I cannot say there has been much that screams LEAVE WHAT YOU HAVE! yet. But here is another place where they want you to say what you are worth. And it's some weird pissing game, that I don't understand. You don't want to put a salary too low and look desperate but you don't want to put too high either. But some people say over confident does win because it sells a demeanor that the upper management wants in an employee. I am just honest and put the amount I need to leave my current position for that position. I am not a good liar or negotiator. I am better to just put it out there and if you dig my vibe then we can work together. That is how I am playing this, I am looking for my bliss work related and I think it will find me when I find it.

My husband asked me what I thought I was worth for all the thoughts, ideas, jobs, all the potential in me what I could be worth. He had a number for himself and I waited and spit out some random number like $50,000 and I really have no idea where I came up with this number because I was just so taken back by the thought of quantifying my creativity and productivity into a number. Sometime since the birth of my kids, I had the revelation that the real currency in life was time. If we were to give people real gifts, it should be vouchers for our time and we should hold fast to meet face to face with people. Time is our most precious gift; One I have tried to give to my kids as often as they have allowed me. There have been people in my life I have been shamefully selfish with my time and my belly aches over those losses. But I have today. And I have time. I have no other value to speak of but I have time.

How to find a job after being out of the loop...Or it's no longer found in the classifieds

When you have been out of the job market for long periods of time-decade or plural. You realize that not only are the ways you find jobs different-- Once you went to places looking for a sign in the window, looked in the want ads in the paper, some companies have computer terminals in their locations to complete applications and assessments, and now there are more than just websites. There are apps. But then within the apps, you have to watch who are posting jobs.

My current fave is LINKEDIN Here is my profile https://www.linkedin.com/in/danyel-statzer-mcdaniel-948b6610 Let's link up!


On the apps, you are able to scan and search based on location or keywords or both. When you get your results, that is when the real work starts. You must visually skim what is not for you. I have things in my head I am looking for-- insurance, retirement, but I am looking for a unique work environment. You have seen those workplaces on TV or heard about them. Free breakfast or lunch or a fun room where peers get together for stress relief. I want a company that truly has that philosophy that happy workers are better workers.


There are subgroups posting on these sites.

1. Recruiters for staffing agencies
2. Recruiters for companies
3. Recruiters for "sales" positions where you only get paid if you sell
4. Direct posts from companies by their HR like normal


I do not know if there are downsides to these differences but the loops to jump through a staffing agency puts me off a bit. I skim these jobs and so far none of them have made my short list, so it hasn't mattered.

The other part of my current research is what are the jobs out there? And do I need any additional certification or training?

If you are in the medical field, IT, engineers, sales, or skilled labor-- then SW Ohio is for you. I don't want to be in social services anymore; the field I have served in for 18 years. My first job out of college was in mental health switching to social work in the public school system in 2006. Now I want to learn new skills, try and utilize all I have learned in college, my internships (three in schools, one in a mailroom, and one in a homeless shelter), FWSP jobs in HR and mailroom at Antioch and one precollege job at a Thriftway grocery store and open that next door.


I have customer service experience, retail/grocery experience, mail standards experience, human resource experience, housing, teaching daily living skills, meal planning, budget planning, transportation, medication management, supervisor of 15 staff, QA financial, QA review, community involvement, blogging, accessing community resources, Microsoft Office, --I digress.

What I am getting at poorly but I am trying to pull the train back around to, I have what I feel like is a great tool box of skills but I look on these sites and I am like--- uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I don't think I am going to open the paper (kidding) and see my skills listed off perfectly and I will get a light bulb over my head, put on my best suit, walk into the Daily Moon and say 'Ms. Goldberg, I am the one you have been looking for', hand her my resume and we go to lunch to hash out the logistics.

Positive visualization.