Standing on the edge of the precipice...

I have been blogging for a couple years now I think. I started the blog so that once I stopped writing my books that I would not lose writing skills even though I had stepped away from the typewriter so to speak. I wanted to keep my fingers nimble and my brain churning as much as possible. I started reviewing products because I love free shit and receiving packages even more. But then I got addicted to the process. Not the review writing which started to suck my soul and it filled my social media with the free stuff I was trying out but I think I was pissing off my friends with pics of pretty much adverts for these products that my friends may or may not wanted to see. I didn't and don't want to lose friends because of that. I barely have friends I consider real, to begin with.

So I have been contemplating so many aspects of my life recently-- this blog, my place in the world, religions, meditation, where I want to live, how to be the best me and best parent, and where do I go from here. And the one thing I have come up with is I am not content with where I am. Things much change to be better tomorrow.

My studies of Ayurveda was the starting point of learning more about my body and how every aspect of our lives affect every other aspect of our being. When we are stressed we get sick more. It seems so simple but it's a truth that in America we seem to forget and just medicate instead of looking at the heart of why illnesses and maladies begin. The real struggle is heading the stress off before it begins. I want to learn that skill, more important I want to teach those skills to my kids. Yoga and meditation are the keys. I know they are. I would love to learn from skilled teachers, but now I have to settle for youtube, Amazon Prime, and books.

This summer my best friend lost her father, he was one of the greatest men I knew and his death rocked all of our lives. Wolf's death has made me look at life every day and want to be and do better. My best friend started watching Twin Peaks again with her sister as a result of being home when her father passed on, which I in turned watched as well. David Lynch the director is an avid Transcendental Meditation advocate and is working to spread TM to schools and kids to help a new generation cope with life in a "new" way. I feel a pull to this in some way. If you would like more info on what he is doing here is the link https://www.davidlynchfoundation.org/. There is also a transcendental meditation page
http://www.tm.org/ I would love to be trained but that cost. And I am a broke social worker, frowns.


I know the precipice I am at is painful but one of growth and blessings in the long term. I just don't know whether to jump, stay put or how to get to the next there.

Bliss is still a work in progress.

Summer has begun officially even though school was out almost a month ago. I have been finishing up my school work and have been trying to get my house in order in between illnesses and vacation. Now we are here, the place I want to be-- ready to start my publishing one of my books. So what is my first step. I have one book that has a cover made, it is written and now I need to read it from start to finish at least once to make sure it is complete and finish it. And I will find a few final readers. This book I think has been over edited-- part of my issue was too much editing. I have realized that I am not perfect with my grammar but sometimes I think my voice was being edited out because it was not was the norm. I think books now are not the books of yesterday and in the time since I wrote the books (six years on some of the novels) the whole industry has changed. So I will publish these books. Step one. Finish Cleaning house so I cannot use it as an excuse. Step Two. Clean me- I got great samples like my Gillette Venus Swirl (I get freebies in the mail to practice my writing skills when I am not writing my novels.) and a facial from coconut sugar scrub.

Step Three Read Mythic Doppelganger and Find readers and beg my former editor friends to read the final drafts. Publish by 8/1/16.

Sounds Simple? I promised myself when I started all this that I would be published by forty and that is less than six months away.

How one suggestion can change your life...

One Monday weeks before Christmas, my husband and I were thrift shopping (with $20 in my pocket) and we ran into my aunt. My Aunt is a licensed massage therapist and lives a very holistic lifestyle. She has been very aware of my struggles to find medications to control my seizures and asked about how I was doing. She had done some research and found a Gluten free diet was working wonders for people with Epilepsy some eventually went off medication all together.

I did a little Bing search myself and found quite a bit of research saying the same things. After years of yo-yo dieting for my weight, I thought why not try something that could help me control my seizures and if it doesn't work. What would I be out?

So two weeks before Christmas, I went Gluten free and did not notice any major changes but my meds were pretty stable. The only times my meds seem to fail me are during stress times of the month (sleep deprived, food deprived, menstruation) and but when Christmas Day came I thought I would do a little scientific experimentation of my own. I ate a few crackers, cookies and just random things you can only eat on Christmas and the next two days I had break through seizure activity. I immediately went back on gluten free and have been on it ever since and unless I accidentally eat gluten-- you would be shocked where it hides. I have been seizure free since Christmas.

Obviously this is not scientific proof that going Gluten free will cure your epilepsy. Don't stop your meds and go Gluten free. I am not a doctor, but if you wanna try something in conjunction with your meds whats the worst that can happen?

All I know is my brain is back and I can read and write again. From October till Christmas, I was unable to read, edit or write and it was torture.

Why rant when you can RAVE?

My blog has never really had a direction of what the theme is. I thought it was mostly about my journey as a writer on my way to publication. But I spend so much time editing, writing and finding a thousand reasons not to write that this blog morphed into more of a personal sound board for when I really found something I wanted to say something.

Some of my greatest thoughts on my writing come in the car, I think this is because your brain is focusing on the road and driving. Then bang your muse gives you something when you are completly unable to write or do anything about it. I force myself to think on the "jewel" my muse gives me until I can get to my destination and write it all out.

Today's jewel focused on the thought of "Life is consumer research." As consumers, we try things, we eat things, experience products every day and ususally we only contact companies when there is a problem with their product. Our society is quick to complain, and slow to compliment.

So I would like to write a blog or a column on this blog that will be dedicated to RAVING about products I come across that ROCK! And I plan to contact each company that makes this product to let them know how awesome they are.

I don't want people to respond with any negative, there may be negative to these products for you. But that is not what this will be about.

Positive only.

I already have a product to tell you about... :)

Wow, its summer!

Once again I haven't written a blog in forever. But this time its because I am actually writing books! Over the last few years I have started more books than I care to reveal. I have yet to finish to completion any of them. Four of them are on the edge of almost done!!  My amazing crit partner is motivating and helping me push forward toward the goal-- publication!

Maybe the next blog will be announcing the launch party and pub date of one of my books. I would love to be using this blog as a vehicle to tell my millions of 7 followers about my novels and novellas. 

More to come...

Happy Summer to you all and to all a dry day!

(This is the first dry day in my town in 13 days this summer!)

Where is my mind? Only the Pixies know for sure.

I am a horrible blogger, I haven't written a post in months. Its not like I have any followers to piss off so I guess I am safe. Since Christmas I have been either sick or stressed, sometimes both. But I am healthy again and looking to become even healthier.

 Although New Years is months past and Lent is a third of the way over, I have a few new resolutions I want to implement. I went to a Wellness Fair at my work two weeks ago and listened to a speaker about some of the real consequences of chemicals in our foods and drinks. I knew there was things in my Diet Coke and Sunny D that were not exactly natural but they just tasted so good. But since that training I have been researching and trying to move for me (and my family since I do all the shopping) towards all Organic eating and drinking habits.

So far the biggest drawbacks for me will be the drinks in my life-- I love Diet pop and Crystal Light. The thought of only drinking water makes me wanna puke. Wish me luck!

Resolution number two is to return to writing. I am like a million others who have multiple full length novels, a few novellas and not a damn thing completed in the editing process. I go gung-ho for a month or two then I write nada for a couple months. I have no idea if I just self sabotage, I am a lazy ass or if maybe I am not meant to write and I should let it fade away. I love writing, I love having characters take over and spit out lines and plot I didn't know where even a possibility. I love being transported to another time, place or circumstance through books. I want to share that with others... yet I stop short of a complete transcript. Am I afraid of failure? Criticism? Or maybe even success? So here I go... hopefully my new organic living will help my writing or maybe help heal my crazy ass brain.


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Blogger? Writer? What am I?

I have spent many hours over the last week trying to find an effn template for my blog that is more representative of my books and writing style. OMG, it would seem to be an easy enough task but no. I find one I like then the column size cannot be adjusted and my posts make the side bar disappear or fall to the bottom. Then I find a kick ass layout that works with my blog sizes and then it uses white font on a white background and cannot be adjusted without knowing how to write html. Which I dont. ugh. Sorry I just want to be a writer of amazing effn books. But instead I am learning how to navigate the social media in order to have a following for when my book is published but I cannot work on my edits because I am trying to LIKE people on facebook so they will like me. I spend hours making my blog look cool but not giving myself hours to write an amazing blog. What's a girl to do? I will try to continue to be superwoman-- social media, writing, editing, reading, having a full time job, being a full time mom and wife and including lots of praying for my sanity.

Self Doubt, Laziness or Over-scheduled Life?

Every summer I try hard to write a crap ton then I edit through the school year when work occupies my brain the most. At the beginning of the summer, my daughter asked if this was going to be another "mommy hidden behind her laptop" kind of summer. And it hasnt been.

I would like to say I have spent most of the summer trying to make great memories for my kids, which has been the primary objective. But little parts of me thinks I will never be good enough to write "real" books, so I left my writing in pursuit of making everyone else happy. I have helped with my nephews, my sister, my so called friends, and most of all I have helped my kids and hubby to have as much fun as possible. But I always leave out me.

I love to write. I love the idea of transporting someone to a place and time of my creation giving the reader reasons to care about the characters and forgetting all the stress of their real life. I love to read. I love an author who can engulf me in someplace or time that I would never experience in my lifetime.

I want to be a published author but more than that I want someone, anyone to enjoy the words I have written, to love and hate my characters and to not know where the story will take them.

How to be a stay at home mom/writer for the summer

Every time I get myself in a good habit of reading and writing something comes along to derail my progress. This week we have been in the 100s for the most of the week and my butt has been in the pool (I know poor Danyel:)) and by the time I get done with my daily cleaning and swimming I am assed out.

Every summer I struggle with being a stay at home mom, mostly because the kids get bored so easily. So Santa was proactive and got the kids Kings Island passes and then we were blessed with a house with a pool. Kids are not bored but mommy is very tired. I am having to get up before them every day to have a little time to myself.  But I always debate-- mommy time or sleep?

Then this weekend of storms, electricity out and heat wave took the best out of me. I have napped 3 times today.  But I am awake now, having the kids watch Harry Potter and I am editing my WIP and writing a little bliggety blog.

Oh and it is time for True Blood. Dont even get me started on my issues with that show.

thanks to my nook

It has been one week without my laptop and my nook is keeeping me connected. Thnak the Lord. So needless too saythiswill be filled with typos and be shorter than usual. There are daysi am happytohave the cord sepreated, more prodcutive around the house and my paperwork is all caught up. Thankful for the small miracles. I miss crit-ing for Lisa :and i hadfinally.started edits on M:D that i need to be apble to type the edits. This break from my lappie has alzo shown me the amazing nook tablet. It is everything ipad seem to be but for those of uson tighter budget. But now I think people withipadsmqybe wasting their money on a indent of a fruit.

A broken week...

All month long I have been looking forward to my three day President's Day weekend. Not for great shopping or reminiscing about my favorite presidential speech or act. Instead I looked forward to having one whole day of editing on my WIP.

After sleeping in to almost 10 am, I had some coffee, checked an email or two and made a major mistake in leaving my computer in harms ways. In the 90 seconds I was putting in Downy (my dang downy ball stopped working and I keep forgetting to pick one up at the store-- for the expensive price of $1.49) and the yelling and accusing started between my spawns.

After a crying session, puking, an Ativan and numerous pep talks from my hubby: I was able function again.

I am now using the laptop as a keyboard attached to my HDTV until the replacement arrives.