When you have been sick for more than a day or two it messes with your mind more than you realize. Days and nights mean nothing. The numbers on the calendar only mean something if Facebook reminds you it is that assigned astrological day or shows you events from your past of this day 365 days ago. But then if you seek treatment for your fevers and barrage of systems then you are now inducing chemicals into the equations. Since my local witch doctor was closed and not an Ayurveda practitioner who takes Anthem within a 100-mile radius and I had to settle on western medicine to cure my ails they undecidedly called flu with a chance of bronchitis. So an antibiotic, a steroid, and an inhaler walk into my mouth and three blogs, one completed job, two half jobs and a lot of unfolded laundry later I am exhausted. I would love to have the thoughts flowing that this steroid inhaler combination is giving me. Not saying you are reading the next Joy of Sex Manual. But when you take enough Epilepsy meds to sedate a small family a crisp mind wanting to write, create and keep going is the closest to joy I have had since Florida. And it's like stepping through the mirror and back into Wonderland. And I am so afraid it will stop when the meds are done.
My positive Dany says no. This is my new path and through meditation and perseverance, this is the new way. Day two with meditation. No more waiting for the right meds or the right situation or the kids to be older. Today is my day to find my hippie happy every day, my joy.
Part of my joy today was seeing my offspring dance. She competes, which I hate but I love to see her art in form. Her face on the stage but even better her face off stage as she has accomplished her goal her art in whole. I have to block out the fake reality of the stages, trophies, makeup, fake hair and glitter. I just wanna see my baby spin and twirl like a two-year-old joyfully in the rain. To do that I had to leave the house and purse filled with meds nauseated by the phlegm filled gut, but I did and I was never happier that I forced myself into Wonderland for my daughter. I was blessed doubly by lil sister being my White Rabbit for the day.
